最近在ptt sex版看到最好笑的文章~挖哈哈哈ㄏ哈超北七的
 
作者  ChenHouNan (銅鑼灣扛把子)                                    看板  sex
 標題  [情報]人類未來危險了
 時間  Fri Apr 14 04:50:10 2006
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昨天到市場買了隻雞準備回家煮好料,回家時突然門內發出一陣奇怪聲響
                                                                               
我開門一看,登時傻眼,眼前出現一條無止盡的白色隧道,
                                                                               
我的房間居然消失了,我很好奇就一直沿著走下去,彷彿沒有盡頭似的
                                                                               
隧道裡很亮,但又看不出從哪裡發光,我走了不知道多久
                                                                               
突然有人拍了我肩膀一下,我嚇了一跳,後面啥時有人
                                                                               
我轉頭一看,更是不可置信,原本剛剛走的隧道消失了,變成一面牆
                                                                               
也看不到是誰拍了我,我這時嚇的不知所措,四周張望,我竟然被關在一個沒有門的空間裡面
                                                                               
此時忽然眼前亮光一閃,亮的我睜不開眼,等我仔細一看,居然有個女生站在面前
                                                                               
全身銀白連身緊身衣,相當的緊,我仔細觀察有沒激突,發現她胸部很大,一頭金髮
                                                                               
卻是東方人臉孔
                                                                               
                                                                               
她一開口,是相當生硬的國語,先生 時間緊迫,我們急需要你的精液
                                                                               
我這時腦袋一遍空白,還來不及思考,就又有一個不知道從哪跑出來的女生要我的洨
                                                                               
我不知道為啥麼突然很想跳霹靂舞,可能淺意識想說先嚇嚇她吧,就把買來的雞放在一旁
                                                                               
所以一邊哼著倒退嚕一邊瘋狂霹靂舞,沒想到她一轉身就是迴旋踢
                                                                               
我被她一腳踢飛,嚇的喃喃自語,幹勒 現在洗勒衝三小
                                                                               
我登時傻住,這時她拿出一台很像手機的東西亂按一通,一臉疑惑地自言自語
                                                                               
應該是沒弄錯阿,我這時問她 妳到底是啥麼人
                                                                               
只見她像突然想起某事一般,才慢慢跟我說
                                                                               
她說她是未來人,以你們現在的曆法去算應該是西元2412年
                                                              
                                                                               
我一聽就直覺她在虎濫,所以我又問她那你找我幹麻
                                                                               
她說這說來話長,能不能先給她精液,我當然不要,妳的要求我這輩子還沒聽過
                                                                               
一個未來人找我要精液真的令人匪夷所思,你不說清楚我寧願射在馬桶也不給妳
                                                                               
她只好慢慢說了出來,原來在她們那個年代,一種經由性交傳染的病毒相當可怕
                                                                               
比愛之病還可怕,一旦感染一天之內致死率高達90啪,遭感染而沒死的男性
                                                                               
其精液將會永久帶原,起因據說是人畜之間不正常性行為,導致這種病毒現世
                                                                               
我想起那些演獸交片的人,聽起來還蠻恐怖的
                                                                               
接著她又說於是到最後已經很難找到正常男人的精液了,所以當時光機開發出來
                                                                               
她便負責回到過去進行尋找精液的任務,
                                                                               
這時她拿出一塊東西,好像史萊姆,黃黃流體狀,她說這個要給我弄出來的
                                                                               
我就把像史萊姆的東西放到纜叫上,她說這是模擬可以性交的高科技產品
                                                                        
                                                                               
只見這時史萊姆整個包覆了起來,不停地蠕動,有一種相當特別的觸感
                                                                               
說實話還蠻爽的,果然是未來人在用的自慰史萊姆,
                                                                               
這時她突然很緊張,說可能要快點了,她偵測到這個亞空間被人追蹤到了
                                                                               
說時遲那時快,一陣亮光亮的不得了,突然一個跟她穿同款式緊身衣的女的出現
                                                                               
不過是黑色的,只見先來的那個跟黑衣女說 這個我先找到的 妳別亂
                                                                               
黑衣女大笑,這樣收集太沒效率了,我都直接割了整個帶走,她一臉奸樣朝我過來
                                                                               
我大吃一驚,我要被割纜啪了,不禁軟了下來,這時突然發現在市場買的雞在旁邊走來走去
                                                                               
我急忙翻個跟斗,衝過去像小馬哥撿起槍一般抓起那隻雞,跟黑衣女說
                                                                               
你要是再過來我就幹這隻雞,她跟銀衣女兩人臉色忽然一變,大叫你住手別亂來
                                                                               
幹雞是不對的,萬一你感染了我們就失敗了
                                                                               
你把雞放下,有話好好說,我問她們這任務很重要嗎,她們說 那當然
                                                                  
                                                                               
那好 妳們得照我的話做,於是我叫她們都把衣服脫了,她們一臉不甘願
                                                                               
我立刻作勢要幹那隻雞,她們一慌,畢的一聲,兩個人立刻光溜溜,真是高科技
                                                                               
脫衣服都那麼快,我一手抓著雞,一手瘋狂抓著黑衣女的大奶,她被我一摸
                                                                               
全身抖了一下,我不停搓她的奶頭,喘氣相當急迫,我順手往下摸,已經濕的亂七八糟
                                                                               
她啊的一聲驚叫,全身發抖,我這時也不管了,另一手把雞一扔,一手上奶一手下搓
                                                                               
後來就開始大力抽插,果然是處女,我竟然搞了一個未來人處女,相當的緊
                                                                               
只見她又痛又爽暈了過去,我就賞她一拳,罵道 還想割我的纜啪
                                                                               
最後就直接射在她裡面了,想不到另一個在旁邊看著居然自己就濕了
                                                                               
我也二話不說,直接插她個亂七八遭,就這樣兩個人都給了她們一人一發
                                                                               
想不到她們食髓知味,輪流著來,最後我足足搞了她們了11次,最後她們很滿足地感謝我
                                                                               
幫她們完成任務,我也累的躺在地上就睡著了
                                                          
                                                                               
                                                                               
等到醒來發現躺在家裡地板上,纜啪隱隱作痛
                                                                               
市場買回來的雞在一旁走來走去,拉了一地雞屎
                                                                               
我看著那隻雞發呆了一會,就把牠煮來吃了.....
                                                                               
--
                                                                               
我今天能當銅鑼灣扛把子,全憑三樣東西、夠狠、義氣、兄弟多!!
                                                                               
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推 cn12242:自慰史萊母 有在賣嗎?                                    04/14 04:53
推 ccc73123:還蠻好洨的                                             04/14 04:59
推 ggg796:有洨到   記得雞懶彿要生吃喔~~~                           04/14 05:02
推 yves1022:   醒來後發現雞走來走去    拉了十一次精液              04/14 05:04
推 LeChatelier:..........................................          04/14 05:29
推 RonanWoW:我真的不爭氣的笑了                                     04/14 05:36
推 Androgyne:我洨了....雖然有點虎頭蛇尾                            04/14 05:48
推 Androgyne:我洨了....雖然有點虎頭蛇尾                            04/14 05:48
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推 ZeroAeroXoly:我很不爭氣的笑了!給你個推!XD好個自慰史萊母!變態ET  04/14 05:57
推 lordguyboy:真的很好笑  完全不想噓的豪洨文                       04/14 06:05
推 hope951:結尾有點虛,不過還是很好笑                              04/14 06:08
推 portuug1:我不爭氣的笑了                                         04/14 06:08
推 LeeDay:至少不是啥洨天大的大台科大                               04/14 06:13
推 basketkdash:你要是再過來我就幹這隻雞                            04/14 06:26
推 san8555:我一聽就直覺她在虎濫.....                               04/14 06:30
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推 Iamcyrus:xD                                                     04/14 06:53
推 yosomono:幹幹幹幹幹!!!!!!!!!!!你他媽的怎麼可以這麼好笑!!!!!!!!  04/14 07:06
推 Sprewell0412:虎頭蛇尾+1                                         04/14 07:18
推 daniel76825:幹麻 幹麻 你以為你是衛斯理喔                      04/14 07:38
推 q0r0p:  我一聽就直覺他在唬爛                                    04/14 07:39
推 uforme:還滿不錯的  哈哈哈  自慰使來母                           04/14 07:52
推 dangh:哈哈有夠豪洨的啦.不過跳霹靂舞還迴旋踢害我想到wow的巨魔?  04/14 08:33
推 myths:滿好笑的                                                  04/14 08:47
推 PavelNedved:推                                                  04/14 08:48
推 Powerknt:XDDDDD 這實在太豪洨了...                               04/14 08:51
推 b34mac2:五樓真中肯                                              04/14 08:53
推 kofo:期待下一篇 XD                                              04/14 08:56
推 Evil9:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                      04/14 09:01
推 JackaLMeI:有進步..這次有抓到洨點了..                            04/14 09:05
推 JackaLMeI:跳霹靂舞被迴旋踢那一段實在太XD了                      04/14 09:08
推 FWD:......                                                      04/14 09:09
推 yihcheng:XD                                                     04/14 09:10
推 roder:◆ 這一篇文章值 768 銀                                    04/14 09:10
推 bizozi968:說未來人虎爛  你更虎爛~~不過我笑了 XD                 04/14 09:16
推 Jack0:我還以為是台科文                                          04/14 09:19
推 geniusw:我也推霹靂舞 哈哈哈靠北                                 04/14 09:20
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推 weakman:哈哈哈哈 有豪洨的專業!                                  04/14 09:22
推 pikylin:跟你的名字一模一樣,專業的「陳虎濫」!!                  04/14 09:23
推 RVDmania:棒!!                                                   04/14 09:32
推 TripleSix666:厲害厲害!!                                         04/14 09:53
推 icehunter:還不錯XD                                              04/14 10:04
推 peternick68:還不錯~~不過結尾真的噓掉了                          04/14 10:07
推 SKIN902:你要是再過來我就幹這隻雞                                04/14 10:08
推 catboss:趕快去投稿給sod當劇本 發死你喔                          04/14 10:10
推 SkyChaos:100分!!!                                               04/14 10:14
推 walume:=========以下報名團購自慰史萊姆==========                04/14 10:15
推 qazokm:XDD
推 oners:我笑了                                                    04/14 10:18
→ parkinson:洨仔!只會在電腦前豪洨是沒前途的!繼續尻你的槍吧!     04/14 10:20
推 kavu:XD                                                         04/14 10:19
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推 hahahaelle:想像力滿點~!!好文~~!!XDDDD                           04/14 11:23
推 ePaper:這篇未來豪洨文有創意 不錯XDDDD                           04/14 11:26
推 Yie:推五樓。                                                    04/14 11:39
推 asurada:good job                                                04/14 11:57
推 Narcissuss:推  你在過來我就幹這隻雞                             04/14 12:02
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